Missing Maa

Today is the first day since the start of my three month hiatus that I really missed the Mandir.  More than anything, I miss Maa.  I miss her Pure Love.  Even if She ignores you, or She scolds you, still there is Her Pure Love that you feel deep down, that you keep coming back for.

And I miss Her cooking.  She is known for Her cooking.  It's not just that it tastes good, it is so Divine.  It is so nourishing.  It warms your soul and comforts your entire being.

I don't really miss the work from the Mandir.  All the cleaning and such.  But I miss the inspiration, dedication, energy, efficiency that I feel within myself when I'm there.  The Gurus, and the Gurus ashram, it inspires you to work hard to really try your best, to be the best you can be.

I hoped that in my time away I would learn to do that outside of the ashram as well.  On some level, I know it's up to me.  You just make the decision to leave laziness and all that holds you back behind.

I could say "But I feel inertia," and I want to, but the second I hear "But," I know its another excuse.

How long will I listen to the excuses?  The saints and sages say that human life is precious.  Already I feel that I've wasted so much time.