Reflections on this Blog

When Swamiji first told me to write this blog, I had really mixed feelings about it.  Or rather, I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about it.  Sorry to say, but it's true.

If you are totally self centered and fascinated with your own "story" and you go to someone to try and become un-self centered, probably one of the last things you want to hear them tell you is to write about yourself, publicly.  I still feel like maybe Swamiji was playing with my desire for people to know about me, to know my story.  Playing with my tendency to think MY story is more interesting, or less interesting for that matter, than anybody else's.  (Maa said on the night of Holi in the kitchen, "Everyone has a story.")

As with everything that my Gurus suggest, in actually I enjoy working with this blog.  It's a great way to reflect and to deepen understanding, and its also a nice release when you don't have anyone to talk to and you're not spiritually advanced enough to through all of your thoughts in the Divine Fire with a declaration of "svaha," "I am One with God!")

When I am writing on my screen, there is no one directly on the other side hearing the words.  And part of me thinks not many people will read this at all, so I feel free just to write. 

I pray to the Mother Saraswatī that the experience of writing for this blog helps me to learn, to grow, and to more deeply absorb the teachings of my Gurus.  I pray to the Goddess and to my Gurus for forgiveness for any mistakes I make a long the way.

Kṣamāsya.  Please forgive me.