Perspectives change

You know what...

I thought I would live sooo far away from the world.  Just have nothing to do with it.  I thought that somehow I would live in a little hut in the woods of Vermont and no one would know I was there.  And I would probably be totally impoverished, and just live on dahl and rice.  And of course, in my mind, this was all a very romantic thing.

Now I am thinking....screw it.  That idea of that life clearly has not worked out for me, considering I  I am being pushed deeper and deeper into the world.  So the perspectives are changing to a more pro-active than "tune in, drop out" attitude.  I want to refine and develop a skill set with which I can support myself financially in the world, and with which I can use to serve Maa. 

I want to write, I want to edit, to work on the web, to learn graphic design and learn photoshop.  I want to have creative freedom.  I want to have plenty of money so that I'm not working as a retail clerk in someone else's store for my whole life.

And I want to be able to read the original Sanskrit.  And translate.  And actually know what I'm talking about.

I want to be at the top, not at the bottom.

And you know what else...  I'm going to drink a beer.